How much more is 4?

I am regularly asked with some incredulousness if I really have four children and if they're really all boys. All sorts of answers typically float through my head (often depending on the mood and noise level of said children) but I typically just say yes and smile. "How do you do it?" I'm asked and told that one or two or three is hard enough. Typically I answer that the transitions from none to one kid and from one to two kids are the most difficult and adding another one or two really isn't so bad.

Today, as I juggled the kids at the museum, I realized that balancing the needs of four people - really five if you count David (but honestly he more than takes care of himself and the rest of us) and six if you add me in (although during the day I'm sometimes not sure if anyone else counts me) - is really difficult. There's the easy hierarchy when Mr. 2 calls that he pooped and needs help and Mr. 0 is hungry and fussy and Mr. 9 needs help with a tricky math problem (poop beats fussiness and math can definitely wait) but it's often much more difficult.

I took Mr. 7, Mr. 2, and Mr. 0 to the Museum of Science today for Mr. 7's birthday. On Thursdays David works from home and Mr. 9 stays with him to finish school and have some programming time with Dad while the rest of us are at bible study and Mr. 9 didn't want to give that up - even for a museum he loves. So off the rest of us went for some museum fun. Mr. 0 was pretty content in the stroller or carrier depending on his mood and Mr. 7 was his cheerful enthusiastic self but Mr. 2 was being difficult. The kind of difficult that is I-will-go-where-I-want-when-I-want-at-the-speed-I-want. This works okay if it's just the two of us or even the three of us but not so well when there are four of us. I lost him twice and each time he refused to hold my hand as we rejoined the others. As long as he walked next to me I let it go.

Finally he wanted to climb up one of the exhibits - the exhibit Mr. 7 was trying to use. I pulled him down but he climbed right back up. So I pulled screaming toddler off and carried him over to the other side of the area to chat leaving a sleeping Mr. 0 with Mr. 7. But now I had committed the unforgivable crime of carrying him and he refused to do anything but yell that he wanted to walk over and over again. I finally had to carry him screaming to the next area with Mr. 7 pushing the stroller. I knew we were near the end but Mr. 7 had asked to watch the ball machine at the beginning and I had asked him to wait due to other circumstances and I wanted him to have a few minutes before we left. With Mr. 7 and Mr. 0 distracted, I was finally able to calm Mr. 2 down enough for him to ask if he could walk without screaming so I put him down and he ran back to where the carrying offense had started and walked back to me from that point. I let them watch the ball machine for a few minutes while I calmed Mr. 0 down who was upset by Mr. 2's screaming. Checking the time I told Mr. 2 it was time for a quick trip to the bathroom before we headed home.

All was going well until we got off the elevator to head for the exit. Mr. 2 saw a water fountain and took off for it while Mr. 7 and I kept in the exit direction. We had to go and I was done. I told him I had his water bottle and we had to go. He wouldn't walk so I carried him screaming through the exit gates, to the kiosks to pay for our parking, to the elevator, and then to the car. Twice I had to put him down and he immediately tried to run back to where we had started. So in the end I just had to carry a shrieking toddler to the car and hold him in his carseat while I strapped him in. Meanwhile Mr. 0 had started to cry again so I spent the next 15 minutes calming him down.

If we had been by ourselves I would have left much earlier but I didn't want to have to punish Mr. 7 who was being a champion helper. If it were just Mr. 0, I wouldn't have to drag him around to get kids to lessons interrupting his naps. And that's the struggle, trying to meet everyone's needs and not pushing something I know will result in screaming and the end of a good time for the one who is doing just what I asked. It's hard to disappoint one to help another. All the books would say that if your toddler throws a fit in the grocery then you just leave the cart and come back. But what if your 3 other kids are at home with your husband and you need the groceries and coming back with everyone the next day would just be too awful to contemplate and you had promised someone scrambled eggs for breakfast and those eggs are sitting in your cart. The question is difficult and I often just don't have the answer. I just wish there was less screaming as I try to figure it out.